God has also recently led me to Jesus' teachings on forgiveness and how we must forgive, which I'm happy to say I understand better now. Each thing I renounce brings it's own freedom and peace. However, conversely it has also thrown me into a state of flux as this transition happens. I think my relationship with God has grown stronger in some ways.
I can truly say that after many long years of feeling like my life was under a cloud, that I can feel sunshine in my heart again and enjoy the spring like I used to when I was a child.
I also see God's face in the rays of the sun, the beautiful blue sky and golden, glorious sunsets - this is something new and something I relish as I feel closest to God when He draws this to my attention. I finally feel safe and held again, and free to be happy.
I've resumed being on the Ministry Team at my church, have attended the weekly evening prayer meeting for the first time and have asked to join a Home Group - all in the last week.
Someone where I volunteer said, 'We've just been talking about heaven and hell. What do you think about heaven?' Whereas in the past I would have said something and then retreated, yesterday I spoke up and we talked for about 10 minutes about heaven, Jesus, sin, the cross...
I've yet to settle into a new pattern in my quiet times, but am reading the Bible much more than before and enjoying it.
When I drove home that overcast and dry evening, I saw a rainbow! The totally unexpected sight seemed to me like the Father setting His seal on what had happened.
During the tea break as I was sharing what happened during the talk (with someone I knew), it came to a point that I couldn’t continue, I was crying but then it turned into sobs that came from the depths of my being, I didn’t want to cry, I wanted to stop, but couldn’t. With that deep realisation came release of pain.
I was mightily blessed with prayer ministry afterwards. I wish I could remember the names of the people who prayed with me as I would particularly want to thank them for their Ministry, for all they helped me and for being so open to the Lord. They were real channels of God’s love and healing. Even though I cannot remember the names.
Amazing things happened during that prayer session. I wish I could have recorded it all, it was one of those very precious moments, but it was so intense and deep that I cannot recall many of the things, so much happened and so loving and beautiful, very powerful indeed.
As a result of the great revelation during the talk and the subsequent prayer ministry something big has lifted from me. I did make some notes afterwards and when I read them, it fills me with great joy.
The blessing at the end was truly wonderful too.
One of the fruits of the prayer ministry is to do with my father, who died several years ago.I had big issues to do with him; the father wound was huge in me.
About a year ago the Lord showed me that I had hate in my heart towards him and I was truly shocked at that revelation. I had received prayer for healing on various occasions, but I still could not think of him with different feelings. I really wanted to be rid of it all.
After the prayer session on the Unbound day, I no longer feel that way, thanks be to God. I didn't realise it straight away, but weeks later because of something that came up.
Thank you all very much for making this day possible, I received so very much. Above all a huge thank you to Jesus for His great love, mercy and healing and giving us so much through you and this great ministry.
God bless you and again a huge heartfelt thank you for everything.
This had led to taking responsibility for other things that were not my fault, and being vulnerable for others to blame me.
During our prayer session, the person leading it suggested that I had judged myself. He was absolutely right. I had asked for Jesus for forgiveness, but I wouldn't let myself go. We dealt with this using the 5 keys.
I can now see this pattern of behaviour a mile away, and don't have to go there any more. I am very grateful to Jesus for taking the burden of sin, and not having to carry it myself. I feel free to not accept responsibility for things that are not my fault and can stand up to people who would like to blame me (including myself!)
I feel stronger as a person all round. I knew the scripture that Jesus did not come to condemn the world...but hadn't realised that I was condemning myself! How do people live without Him?
- repentance and faith
- the Father’s Blessing
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